Time For a Theme Party!

While I may complain about Ricky joining a frat, the entire experience has been fun and exciting for the both of us. I have experienced a number of crazy themed parties and other events that encompass the positive attributes of fraternity life. Despite the great Seattle nightlife, nothing beats a themed frat party.

My friend and I before a night out in Seattle 

Of course most of these parties include girls in minimal clothing, but I feel like that’s typical with any college party. These parties are generally dubbed as “Grab-a-Dates,” which means a boy asks a girl to be his date and the two of them dress up together based on the theme and share drinks for the night.

Now let’s get to the parties:

• The first grab-a-date, which starts off the school year, is “Anything for an A.” It’s the typical party where the girls dress up like the young Brittany Spears in “Hit Me Baby One More Time.” I bought myself an ugly plaid skirt from the thrift store and I have worn it all four years. This party starts off the school year with a guaranteed hang over.

   

Some girlfriends and I at “Anything For an A”

• As with any girl I love to get all dressed up and put on an expensive dress to go out. Every quarter the fraternity holds a formal where everyone can get all fancy for an evening. In the winter the formal is called “From”, which stands for Frat Prom (I know, very creative). In the fall, every guy asks a girl to go to Canada for the weekend for a formal that is dubbed “Couve”, short for Vancouver B.C (Again, very creative). The last, and my favorite, formal is held in the spring and called “Spring Cruise.” This formal takes place on a small cruise ship which sales around Elliot Bay.

Ricky and I at “From”, My friend and I in Vancouver, and Ricky and I at “Spring Cruise” 

• Then there is the holiday season, which brings us to the “Ugly Christmas Sweater” grab-a-date. This party always makes me laugh because the boys put in so much work to turn the house into a winter wonderland. They string light everywhere, erect a Christmas Tree and have a member dress up as Santa. Again, I found the perfect Ugly Christmas Sweater at Value Village the ultimate college party store and used it all four years because it’s just that awesome.

 

Some friends and I at the “Ugly Christmas Sweater” party and don’t forget Santa

• Next comes one of the boys’ favorite party of the year, “Tequila Sunrise.” The fraternity provides tank tops for all the couples and the goal is to socialize and stay awake until the sun comes up. In my four years I have never made it to see the sun rise. Drinking aside, I can never pull an “all-nighter” so there was no hope for me.

Ricky and I during “Tequila Sunrise” over the past three years 

• My least favorite party, yet admittedly fun is “Euro Trash.” This involves everyone dressing up as middle aged eastern European club goers. I never totally understood what that meant but it makes for a good time nonetheless.

  

Ricky, my friend and I during “Euro Trash” 

These parties have made this four-year journey truly unforgettable (literally) and it’s one of the best parts of Ricky being in a fraternity. Although, I still love a night out in the city hoping around the bars.

“Hey Babe, I joined a Frat!”

These are the words I heard from my boyfriend just a week before my first day of college and these words significantly changed my next four years. Going to different schools was already going to be a challenge but then he made a decision that would significantly change my college experience.

Ricky had talked to me about potentially joining a frat but he always said it would be too much of a distraction and that he didn’t want to deal with it. I thought it would be fun, not just for him but for me too. Again, I had no idea what being part of a fraternity was about; I just thought it seemed like a fun experience.

Ricky and I at a Husky football game

Just about a week before Ricky and I were going to start school I got a phone call in which he explained that he had just joined a frat. Not that he was thinking about joining one, he had already done it. I had several thoughts going through my mind but I couldn’t get anything out.

Here are some of the things I was thinking:

• This is going to be so much fun. We can make friends, drink, go to parties, and dress up. I am so excited.
• Wait, where are you going to live? Do you have to live in a house with a bunch of guys?
• Do you have to interact with all of the sororities throughout the year? Great . . .
• How am I going to explain this to my parents?
• Why the hell didn’t you ask me?

When ESPN College GameDay came to UW 

These thoughts were very scattered but that’s what was going through my mind, I was torn about how I felt. I didn’t know if I was happy, sad or mad. Anger was the first thing that came out, not just anger, rage. I said, “Ricky, you realize this decision doesn’t just affect you, it affects both of us.” Of course, he didn’t think about that, he was only thinking about how much fun he was going to have.

I tried to be positive and supportive but it was really hard for me. I was so sad, not only because he didn’t think about me but also because I was scared that we wouldn’t make it through this. I didn’t know much about fraternities but I have heard rumors about how all the guys sleep around with sorority girls. I knew we had a tough challenge ahead of us and serious work would be required if were going to make it through.

Now that we are both Seniors I am happy to say we made it. It took a lot of adjusting on my part but I must say I really enjoyed the ride of fraternity life and learned to embrace the crazy.

Ricky and I at his little sister’s high school graduation 

Myths V Facts

My boyfriend, Ricky, and I have been together since we were 16 years old; to say we have been through a lot is putting it lightly. We took very different paths in college. I chose a small Catholic school while he chose a huge public school. Oh yeah and he joined a frat, which he joined without consulting with me.

This is the very first picture we ever took together at New Years in 2009

Here are some of the questions that I have encountered while trying to explain my boyfriend’s frat life to my friends and family.

1. Does Ricky drink?

That’s a crazy question. I dare you to name anyone in college who doesn’t drink.

2. Are all the guys douchebags?

NO. Contrary to what Urban Dictionary states, with my personal experience I don’t find this to be true.

Whenever I ask my friends to come out and party with me they all get the same look on their faces. I can tell what they are thinking: Will they put something in my drink? What if something happens?

I understand that these are serious concerns and I shared these thoughts once too, but then I got a reality check. These “frat boys” are not animals waiting to prey on every woman who walks in. I also know they would never do anything because they would have to answer to me. 

This is Ricky and some of his roommates

3. Isn’t the house dirty?

Ok, there is no lying here. I said I would be honest and honestly it’s disgusting. When Ricky lived in the main house everyone had cleaning jobs. Now he lives in a smaller house with 19 guys, and no ones knows what Lysol wipes are. The house isn’t dirty; it’s a house of full of boys. EWWWW.

4. Do Ricky’s grades suffer?

Yes horribly, he sits in his frat, drinks beer and plays videos games all day. Again, NO. 

All jokes aside, this was something I was worried about too. However the reality is that all the guys support and push each other to be better. Grades are seen as another form a competition and everyone wants to win. I also found the frat to help Ricky further his career and helped him get the amazing internship he now has.

This is from the accounting firm’s Holiday party where he has interned the last two years

This is the question that no one will actually ask but I know EVERYONE is thinking it.

5. Won’t Ricky cheat?

Many people think fraternity boys sleep with as many college girls as they can. Honestly, for some of the guys, I find this to be true. Somehow I got lucky. My boyfriend never took another girl to anything. If I couldn’t go to an event, he didn’t go. Having Ricky be consantly surrounded by sorority girls was hard for me but I got over it.

As strange as it may seem, I have found that Ricky joining a frat was the best thing that happened to our relationship, it made us stronger. We went through some situations I will never forget. Literally, some things I’ve witnessed can never be unseen.

Through the good, bad, and ugly mornings, this experience made Ricky a better man and boyfriend.

This experience has definitely been an interesting one and I hope you all learned some of the brutal truths about fraternities! The friendships that Ricky has made will last time and I a lifetime.

I took this before the Seahawks victory in the Super Bowl