These are the words I heard from my boyfriend just a week before my first day of college and these words significantly changed my next four years. Going to different schools was already going to be a challenge but then he made a decision that would significantly change my college experience.
Ricky had talked to me about potentially joining a frat but he always said it would be too much of a distraction and that he didn’t want to deal with it. I thought it would be fun, not just for him but for me too. Again, I had no idea what being part of a fraternity was about; I just thought it seemed like a fun experience.
Just about a week before Ricky and I were going to start school I got a phone call in which he explained that he had just joined a frat. Not that he was thinking about joining one, he had already done it. I had several thoughts going through my mind but I couldn’t get anything out.
Here are some of the things I was thinking:
- This is going to be so much fun. We can make friends, drink, go to parties, and dress up. I am so excited.
- Wait, where are you going to live? Do you have to live in a house with a bunch of guys?
- Do you have to interact with all of the sororities throughout the year? Great . . .
- How am I going to explain this to my parents?
- Why the hell didn’t you ask me?
When ESPN College GameDay came to UW
These thoughts were very scattered but that’s what was going through my mind, I was torn about how I felt. I didn’t know if I was happy, sad or mad. Anger was the first thing that came out, not just anger, rage. I said, “Ricky, you realize this decision doesn’t just affect you, it affects both of us.” Of course, he didn’t think about that, he was only thinking about how much fun he was going to have.
I tried to be positive and supportive but it was really hard for me. I was so sad, not only because he didn’t think about me but also because I was scared that we wouldn’t make it through this. I didn’t know much about fraternities but I have heard rumors about how all the guys sleep around with sorority girls. I knew we had a tough challenge ahead of us and serious work would be required if were going to make it through.
Now that we are both Seniors I am happy to say we made it. It took a lot of adjusting on my part but I must say I really enjoyed the ride of fraternity life and learned to embrace the crazy.
Ricky and I at his little sister’s high school graduation